If anyone is familiar with getting LJ to work in a VirtualHost environment, I certainly could use the help, and yes, I would most certainly offer that person a permanent, early adopter account.
P.S. I do have root access to the server in question. I've gone through all the steps, ran everything I needed to run, added everything I need to add, and still, when I add the 3 necessary lines to the VirtualHost entry for my LJ-specific domain, Apache refuses to restart. I'm really at a loss, folks. It's the "Perl" lines it does not like.